Heavy vs. Roadhog
KingMaster TOG= Battle of the tanks. The brute, the strongest of the group, men that can take loads of punishment and deal much more. Like the Heavy, the muscle of the 2Fort nine. And Roadhog, the psychopathic junker. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick. And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle. Heavy Soviet Russia is...an interesting place, known for it's bitter winters that stops highly advanced armies in their tracks, an extremely dedicated workforce, and....weird traditions. Siberia particularly is one of the toughest, coldest, and most unforgiving places to live in. Just who would live in such a land? No shit, it's the dude that singlehandedly blew up and slaughtered an entire gulag. Once upon a time, some idiots came barged into young Misha's room, shot his dad, and sent the rest of the family to gulag cuz his dad was apparently a defector. After three months, the gulag was burned to the ground. The guards were brutally slaughtered as thousands of political prisoners and and guilty parties alike escaped, as did Misha and his family. Then, he found a job in America as a mercenary to help feed the family, and there, we meet his giant sexy minigun, Sasha. This beast of a gun fires weighs 150 kilograms and fires 200$ custom-tooled cartridges at ten thousand rounds per minute. That's right, it costs 400 000 dollars to fire this weapon for twelve seconds. Common misconception, Sasha fires at 2400 rounds per minute, not 10000. But it still weighs over 3 times more than an average minigun, which is usually only around 39 kilograms. That there is still some serious firepower. However, this gun only carries around 800 rounds. Meaning it can only fire for around 20 seconds before being rendered useless. Good thing he also carries a wide variety of backup weapons, like a shotgun dubbed "The family business". This gun fires at roughly twice per second and holds 8 rounds of 10 pellets each. Also with 32 more shells in reserve. Most of the mercs also carry a melee weapon, such as a knife, a baseball bat, or a.... dismembered hand. But this guy... He don't need any of that shit, he talks with his fists. ''' Heavy has insane strength to back up his lack of a melee weapon. He has wrestled a bear twice his size, and killed it, no less, managed to briefly hold open a hydraulic blast door, and even stopped a train heading at top speeds right towards a cat orphanage. '''Heavy weapons guy: slayer of bears, protector of orphaned kitties. When that's not enough, however, he also carries a variety of gloves to boost his punching prowess lemme tell ya, these are some crazy-ass gloves he has. First off, he carries a pair of painted boxing gloves called "The gloves of running urgently" these things boost his speed by quite a bit at the cost of somehow taking more damage while having them on. And "The warrior's spirit" two massive bear claws that enable him to drain health from his enemies. Then the fists of steel, two massive metal gauntlets that block most incoming damage from range, effectively making him near-invulnerable at medium or longer range. But the most insane weapon in his arsenal is "The Holiday Punch," soft mittens that will occasionally force you to laugh as he starts ripping you to shreds. ''' When he gets put in a tight pinch, he can somehow...again. Regenerate his health with his Sandvich which is...just a regular old sandwich... He also carries another edible item called the buffalo steak sandvich. Which boosts his punching strength. '''This guy has a lot of weapons, I'll tell ya that much. If he's that durable and strong, what CANT he do? Well, for starters, he's awfully slow, and most of his different weapon options have exploitable and dangerous weaknesses. He also takes an awfully long time to eat. And he is extremely vulnerable while doing so. And he also seems really stupid... Actually, no, he's actually quite intelligent for the hulking brute that he is and has a degree in Russian literature and philosophy. However, how it plays into strategizing...no-one really knows much. Do not piss this guy off, as he will punch or gun his way through you like the baby you are. UWAAAAAH, HOOOOAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! AAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAH!!!!!! CRY SOME MORE!!!! Roadhog The omnic crisis: one of the bloodiest conflicts of the Overwatch world. A violent struggle where machines fought with their human creators. Even their own kind if they disagreed. Ugh, sounds like a really shit time to live in, I don't want to see what the future holds anymore. Among the hardest hit was the Australian outback. The land was ravaged and destroyed by the omniums that were there. As a peace treaty, the Australian government gifted much of the land in the outback to the Omnics. Naturally, the guys that lived there were pretty pissed that the government was helping the robots that wrecked shop in their crib and were evicting people that lived there, so some of the people that lived in the outback formed the Australian Liberation Front to blow up the bots. Among the soldiers was Mako Ruthlege, a resident of the outback and one of the top-ranking officers of the rebellion. Yet another war was fought, until a nuclear explosion wiped out the omnium, but left the entire outback uninhabitable and irradiated. Furious at the destruction of his home, something in Mako snapped. He donned a mask, took to the broken highways of the outback as little by little, he was driven deeper and deeper into insanity. Mako was gone, and Roadhog was born. Roadhog went on a rampage and started killing everything in his path. He later met Jamison Fawkes, a fellow resident of Junkertown and a criminal in need of a bodyguard. After settling for half the shit they'd earn from crime spree-ing, he, well, went on a crime spree across the globe until his kill reward racked up to a whopping 25 MILLION DOLLARS! Wiz, ''' *Shotgun cock* '''I'mma be out bounty hunting, see ya later! Bye... Anyways, Roadhog carries a scrap gun that carries around enough shrapnel to last five shots. This can be either standard buckshot or an exploding scrap ball for longer ranges. This home-made piece of scrap also comes with a toploader to use the Whole Hog, which sprays shrapnel all over the place and can push away even the heaviest of foes. He also carries around his chain hook to pull people in for a facial that would put the porn industry out of business. EPKingMaster: THAT WAS AWFUL WIZ!!! YOU'RE NOT BOOMSTICK! STOP TRYING TO DO JOKES AND FOCUS ON YOUR DAMN ANALYSIS SO I CAN WRITE THE FIGHT!" Shut up, anyways, with this hook, he can easily rip the roofs clean off of trucks and his aim with it is precise enough to grab a man by the neck from the roof of the building when his target was multiple stories below. When he's in a tight pinch, he can inhale...questionable substances from his jars...that heal him. But he's hella durable, able to tank blows from explosives that level concrete compounds. But while he is durable, he's also very slow, and the scrap gun's limited ammo capacity and it's equally long reload speed. There are times where he will be extremely vulnerable to enemy fire. And... *Door opens* *Sizzling noises* Boomstick! what happened to you? That... was a terrible idea... they stole my car... Bastards.... Don't... try...to go after them.... I'm a one-man apocalypse Interlude Alright, the combatants are set, let's end this debate once and for all! It's time... for a death.. battle...!..... *thud* Fight! Outside ctf_turbine Alert, the enemy has taken our intelligence. Roadhog is seen driving in Boomstick's stolen car with the intelligence briefcase in the passenger's seat. Suddenly, a large russian man punched the car, denting it and sending it off the road, flipped on one side. Roadhog gets out of the car. "You steal our briefcase? Heavy will lay bullets in mouth" "Hhmph" Heavy takes out Sasha and revvs up the gun FIGHT! TF2 Ost- Intruder Alert! Heavy fires the giant gun at the masked man-pig-thing, who fires back at Heavy with his scrap's shotgun attack. Both parties seem relatively unharmed by the other's bullets. Roadhog then fires a ball of shrapnel that explodes in Heavy's face. Causing the massive Russian to flinch and drop his weapon. He fell backwards and brushed the shrapnel off of his face before pulling out the Family Business and firing at the junker's face and in the stomach. Roadhog ducked behind a pillar and took out a yellow jar. He inhaled the contents, and the bullet wounds seemed a distant memory. He failed to realize, however, that the giant Russian had picked his gun back up and once again started firing at Roadhog. This time, at a longer range where his scrap gun would do much less damage. He tried firing another ball of shrapnel, but as it exploded, the metal pellets seemingly just bounced off the giant Russian man who was advancing slowly, but surely. Roadhog took out his giant metal hook and threw it at the bald fatman. Making him drop his weapon again. He was pulled towards the masked "pig" and then he was looking into the barrels of a scrap pistol. Heavy lifted his arm, which absorbed much of the impact from the shot. He then gave a hard backfist to his adversary's face, followed by a vicious uppercut that nearly knocked the junker's mask off. (music stop) Roadhog stumbled backwards and adjusted his mask. He raised his weapon as the two parties stared at each other. TF2 OST- Main theme Heavy drew his shotgun as Roadhog fired his scrap gun. It struck Heavy in the chest, who retaliated with 3 quick shots with the family business, all of which were met with Roadhog's stomach, which absorbed the hit. It didn't seem to faze the junker at all. He had a plan, however... He quickly ran for cover, putting on the gloves of running urgently, when he was almost there, however, a ball of scrap exploded at his back, causing him to fall forwards, he then crawled his way to cover as Roadhog advanced. OM NOM NOM, NOM NOM. CLANG! TF2 OST- Rise of the living bread Heavy emerged from his cover, healthy as ever and carrying two massive metal gauntlets. He charged at Roadhog, who retreated while firing the last bit of scrap in his gun at his attacker. However, the projectiles bounced off of his gauntlets harmlessly. "Don't run! Iz just ham!" Roadhog took a massive load of scrap out of his pocket and forcefully shoved it into the gun, then hammered it down before shutting the barrels, as he look up however... CLONK!!! He was struck by the huge metal gauntlets. There was a ringing in his ears and he stumbled backwards as Heavy followed up with a flurry of hard punches before finishing with a hard uppercut that sent Roadhog flying back. (Music stop) "MY FISTS, THEY ARE MADE OF STEEL!" TF2 OST- The Calm Roadhog took out another can of....questionable substances and inhaled them again, he was still pretty shaken up, but this would have him survive a bit longer. Heavy shed his gauntlets and taunted the masked fatman. Along the way, he also picked Sasha back up. "Come out and poot up fists! You fight like leetle baby man with leetle baby gun!" Overwatch OST- Time is running out! Suddenly, he was pushed out of the corner with wave after wave of shrapnel, he flew across the air, himself being literally flown across the what-is-now-a-battlefield. However, after a bit, he regained his grip on Sasha, and fired at the giant man below, still spewing wave after wave of scrap. The exchange of minigun bullets and scrap metal continued, until Heavy's feet suddenly hit the ground. Snared by a steel beartrap... "Gotcha good there fatass, didn't oi!" a squeaky voice mocked in an australian accent. A flurry of grenades were flung at him, exploding at his position... TF2 OST- Medic! A red glow was emitted from the explosions which became brighter as the dust cleared. In front of heavy was a thin German man in a lab coat, wielding a gun that shot out a translucent glowing red beam which expanded into a red barrier, protecting the Heavy. "ohhohoho. Thank you doktor!" "No problems, mein freunde." (Music stop) A half-naked skinny australian man jumped in front of Roadhog carrying a homemade frag-launcher. His hair was...burning and he wore little else other than a bomb vest and some shorts. "Nao, whaddya say Roady, wanna roast these sonsabitches?" "Hahaha! Heavy would love to see leetle skinny demoman knockoff try to kill Heavy!" (music resume) Heavy's spun minigun was aimed directly at the two junkers as medic's shield deactivated and redirected the healing beam onto the Heavy. Both Junkrat and Roadhog spammed frags and shrapnel at the opposing duo. "Medic! We must move forward!" "Jawohl!" Heavy charged forward, through the frags and explosions while medic followed closely behind. Heavy the fired more bullets at Junkrat, as medic stayed farther back, pulled out the crusader's crossbow, and started firing at Roadhog, the dart hitting the massive junker square in the eye. As he pulled out his hook and threw it at the crazy doctor, who just manages to duck behind cover before it could reach him. He fired another shot at the massive Man-beast. The dart connected with the pig's belly. Infuriated, he ran forward. Meanwhile, Heavy was being pelted with frags as he struggled to land a bullet or a punch on the crazy half-naked junker. "Medic! Help!" Heavy was hit by a dart from the crusader's crossbow. Healing him as... deet deet BOOM He was sent flying to medic by an airborne mine. "FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!' rrrrrrrrr The sound of the dreaded RIP-tire. A spiked tire packed with explosives was thrown at them at alarming speeds as the Heavy got up. He had just noticed the tires presence when... PEW! A smoke cloud covered the duo... The smoke cleared ever so slowly. Then suddenly, a pair of glowing yellow eyes glared through the smoke. "YYYYYYAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!" The Heavy and Medic were covered in a blood-red metallic glow. Heavy marched forward, Sascha in hand, and started firing incessantly at the two junkers as they desperately tried to throw everything they could at the giant red monster. However, everything just seemed to harmlessly bounce off. "AHHAHAHAHAHA, I AM BULLETPROOOOF!!!!" The gun continued firing incessantly until... *bzzt* "All outta luck, mate." PEW! Medic was sent flying by a mine that was unnoticed to both of them. "AAAaaaaaahhhhhhh...." "Ya screwed nao fatzo!" Junkrat laughed until his threat was right in front of him. "HAHAHAHA... oh..." "Yuo stupid, teeny tiny man, thought you could hurt Heavy. Let this be lesson to you." Heavy drop-kicked the junker to god-knows where. As he disappeared into the sky. TF2 OST- Robots! Heavy was then met with a load of scrap fired to his side. He stumbled backwards. Stumbling behind another wall. It was there when he pulled out the Buffalo steak sandvich and started eating. Meanwhile, Roadhog advanced slowly to Heavy's position. Taking a vape as he walked. He approached Heavy's final hiding spot, reared the corner, and... SLASH! Was slashed across the chest by a bear's glowing claw. Heavy had the warrior's spirit in hand, boosted by his steak. It was now stained with the Junker's blood. As he was still bleeding from the stomach cut wound. "HERE I COME!!!!" Heavy performed a flurry of slashes to the fat Junker's stomach and chest, with each slash, he drew more blood, and it was clear that an opening was forming in the massive man's torso. with his fleeing strength, Mako lifted his gun and fired it point-blank at heavy's face, Causing the Russian to flinch and briefly stop the slashes. However, it was not even half a second after he fired that he performed a ginormous uppercut to Roadhog's neck, causing him to bleed out from the massive slash. He put his hand over the cut, trying to suppress the bleeding. He reached for another jar of his healing gas. but before he even touched it, he heard a mechanical whirring, and the last thing he would ever hear. (music stop) The sound of Sasha going in for the kill. The Heavy fired the rest of his ammo directly into a gash in the Junker's chest, the gash grew larger and more mushy with each bullet it made impact with. He then fired it into an open wound in the junker's stomach, spilling blood, flesh, and liquefied guts out onto the pavement. Heavy still fired. Eventually, the Junker's linbs were violently torn off by the flurry of high-calibur lead that was being pumped into him. His skull was in just about a hundred pieces by this point and his brain would be unrecognizable even if you were a trained surgeon. Flesh, blood, and skin littered the floor. The junker was essentially an inverted carcass at this point. His Rib cage lay in a sea of blood and guts, cushioned on large chunks of flesh that were blown off of his stomach. Fragments of his skin were scattered about, varying lengths of intestines littered the pavement. Other than that, his guts were long gone. All were now turned into a mushy and squishy cocktail of biological matter and lead. The corpse smoked. The only thing that would even remotely indicate that this was once the junker was a bullet-ridden gas mask, buried among the blood, guts, and bone. *Tk tk tk tk tk* "Aww, Sasha not have enough boolet? Iz alright baby, rest now." Heavy walked up to the rib cage, in the pile of flesh and guts. "You are ded" "Not big soup-rice" Conclusion Heavy collects the intelligence from Boomstick's car and 25 mil. NAW! MY REWARD MONEY! AND MY CAR!!! This was very close. Roadhog's damage output was weaker than Heavy's but it was more consistent and could easily fire once interrupted. However, Heavy's damage output was far greater, and his insane durability kept him going. However, his weapon was prone to running out of ammo, and he needed to finish the fight quickly before he would run out. Roadhog had better durability feats and his means of regeneration was much quicker, However, the Heavy's means of regenning meant that he would gain not some, but all of his health back and make full recoveries from much more serious wounds. But seeing that Roadhog's regen was faster, why couldn't he just outlast the minigun? Roadhog's biggest durability feat was tanking an explosion that blew holes in concrete. However, Regular machine gun rounds fired from an M60 can also blow holes in concrete. Plus, an m60 fires at much lower speeds. Compare that to Heavy's minigun which is 3 times the size of an M60 and there's no doubt that it would be able to blast large holes in concrete walls. Healing through it wouldn't be an option either, as the minigun, while focus-fired could probably outdamage the healing, making that option suicide. ''' And Heavy had the speed advantage thanks to the Gloves of Running Urgently. If an injured Roadhog tried to run for cover, Heavy could catch up. As Roadhog...has no real speed feats unless we scale him to people that...he never even met. The final nail in the coffin for Roadhog was his severe disadvantage at close-quarters and melee. Sure, it's where his scrap gun is the strongest, but Heavy is a much better and stronger melee fighter. Being able to hold anything hydraulic open is not an easy feat. And the train feat, while he WAS ubercharged, it was likely meant so that the impact from the train wouldn't kill him, as it provided no -implied or otherwise-, boost to strength. Plus his insane arsenal could counter anything Roadhog can do, and punch back with just as much force. '''I am not bringing that pork to potluck. The winner is The Heavy. Heavy: +Much stronger +Faster +Healing was more effective +More firepower/striking power at close range (+outdamages hog should he be hooked) +Range advantage +Much larger and wackier arsenal Roadhog: +More durable +Faster healing +Whole hog |-| AgentRedhead= Roadhog VS Heavy is a What-If? episode of Death Battle by AgentRedhead, featuring tanks from first person shooter games: Roadhog from Overwatch and The Heavy from Team Fortress 2 in a battle between the tanks from team-based shooters. Description Interlude Roadhog Heavy Death Battle Results Next Time on Death Battle! Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:Death Battles by 2 Different Series Category:Death Battles by 2 Different Companies Category:'Hero vs. Villain' themed Death Battles Category:'Hero vs. Anti-Hero' themed Death Battles Category:'Blade vs Gun' themed Death Battles Category:'Rivalry' themed Death Battles Category:'Team Fortress vs Overwatch' themed Death Battles Category:ThatOneGuyFromNISLTsCommentSection Category:Completed What-If? Death Battles Category:Gun vs. Fist Themed Death Battles Category:Giant Themed Death Battles Category:'Video Games' themed Death Battles Category:'Valve vs Blizzard Entertainment' themed Death Battle Category:What-If? Death Battles completed in 2017